Monday, January 28, 2013

Starting Over

Take a good look at these photos.

look how cute my grandma and great grandma are in this photo staring at me when we're trying to take a group photo. Awww, they loved me (first grandbaby, great grandbaby and great great grandbaby...that's a special thing).

There are a few things you should know about them (besides the affinity my family had for the "wild west" motif, complete with shotgun mounted above the know how we roll):
a) you're looking at 5 generations. That's me as the youngest and my great great grandma (Mama Gee we called her) in the center. Pretty rare.
b) apparently a shirt with overalls is not required in 1985, who knew?
c) I remember taking that photo on the bottom and have quite a few memories of Mama Gee and even more of my great grandma (Pompoonzie we called her...don't ask, my mom made it up when she was little) and my Grandma (Gram) and, of course, my mom.
d) My Gram died this weekend and I am the last one remaining of these women. I am really having a hard time wrapping my head around this fact. How can that be?
e) The next time we have the opportunity to take a photo like this I will be the oldest one in it and not the youngest. My girls and I are starting over where generations are concerned.

I'm sad and I miss these women. My Gram was sick for a long time and she stayed around much, much longer than most of us thought she would but it's still so sad to say goodbye. The last time I saw Gram was in August. We took a walk together, we talked, I showed her pictures, we talked about Mom and Poppy (she thought maybe Mom and Poppy were playing golf together that morning). She was having some rare "old Gram" moments at that time. She told me she loved me so much and that I was a "good girl." She told me she was so happy I came to see her and she got up early and dressed up for me to come see her the next day. I had a very similar happy goodbye time with my grandpa that went before her in 2005. I'm so grateful for these times to remember and hold in my heart.
Our updated 4 Generations photo after the girls were born (2009)

Me with Poppy and Gram in 1980.
My immediate family now consists of only my brothers and I. That is crazy. We were never a large family but I just didn't see it playing out like this. Sad weekend. I'm half relieved that Gram is finally where she wanted to be and I find myself sad all over again that Mom's not here to go with me to the funeral and just be with me on this one. I hope that was a great reunion for Mom and her parents.


  1. Sending you a big hug.... Having a little cry over here, this post really touched me..

  2. Very touching post Linz...cherish those photos and your memories. My thoughts are with you, miss you.

  3. I am very sorry to hear of your Gram's passing, both because I know you will miss her but also because I know it does make you miss your mom even more.
    I think about those things from time to time. I have just one sister so when our parents are gone it will be just us. My husband and I weren't blessed with kids so I think wow when our parents are gone we are really going to be by ourselves. It is very strange.
    I'm really glad you have these pictures as special memories. It shows again why what you are doing for the girls, pictures and a quick note, is so important.

  4. lindsay, i just started reading your blog a few days ago...popped over from BH and PL. i think i wanna hang with you! you are such a cool chick and your writing about the women in your life who matter is real, not dripping with sap and sadness and your post ends so perfectly. your recollection of these women reflects what fine women they all must have been and how they shaped the woman that you are today! thanks so much for sharing your life!