All Things Me: An Update

At our last discussion, I blabbed on an on about the woes of raising 3 young daughters. I am overwhelmed by the support and virtual high-5's I got for putting it out there that being a mom kinda sucks some days. Some days are great and most days I feel like I'm put into their lives to be annoyed. It's like they push, push, push to see how many times they can make me lose my temper. I'm glad I'm not alone in this...really glad nobody cursed me out for it as well. Thanks for that.

I think I always knew that being a stay-at-home mom was not going to be the thing to make me feel significant and I was hesitant to get on board with having kids because of this. I really take my hat off to those that make a decision not to have kids even though it's what everyone else is doing. I wouldn't push motherhood on anyone that wasn't fully prepared for the chaos that follows. Really high highs and really low lows. I'm not saying if I could go back I wouldn't have kids. I was meant to be a mom and I love how full it has made me feel. I just don't roll out of my bed excited to make meals, clean up messes, referee, discipline, organize and feel exhausted 3 hours in! However, I happily (most days) trade the mundane for the chance to witness my girls grow and learn, to hear them tell M and I they love us and to feel their little hands clasp mine as they're working through their own fears. It's irreplaceable. Truly.

In that post, I listed a few things that I was going to do to try and keep myself calmer and more fulfilled personally in order to overcome my feelings of dissatisfaction at home with the girls.

First, I did jump into a mom's meet-up group. I went to one movie night with some of the moms. Everyone was super nice. It's hard to get to know everyone on a first meeting, but none of them claimed that being a mom was the best thing since sliced bread. So, that's a plus. I'm going to try to do some more meet-ups with that group but I'm afraid to take all 3 girls. I can hardly remember to breathe when I have all 3 of them out, not sure how I'll get to know anyone. I think most people will start to call me "that one chick with all the kids."


Second, the girls started school. THEY LOVE SCHOOL. Like, really love it. Teagan cries every time I go to pick her up to go home because she wants to stay so bad. The teachers probably wonder what happens at my house to make her not want to go there, but hey a win is a win, people! I love the time I get with just Addy. I usually get a shower in that time and I've started doing the eBay thing again on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Feels good. The girls must know that I'll pay any amount of money to hear them sing "Jesus Loves Me" to each other and recite their Bible Verses. They're already learning so much more than I could teach them and they're the youngest kids in their class.

Third, Project Life. Seriously, this has been such a good tool for my idle hands. It gives me that creative outlet, I feel like I'm doing something to serve my family and I've really used this as a way to connect with my friends Kelly, Becky, Liz and Amy. The 5 of us email pages back and forth and for some of them, this is their first step into scrapbooking. I love it. Here is my latest page:

The family at the Lake Tahoe south shore. You can see a closer look at the page by clicking the "Project Life" tab at the top of the blog.

Fourth, I'm reading inspiring books. I loved "Captivating." I've gotten behind on my book reviews but I promise to catch up soon. M and I are starting "Real Marriage" by Mark and Grace Driscoll this week together. Should spark some good conversation between us. Mark Driscoll is the pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seatlle, WA. He is bold and I am challenged by a lot of what he says (in a really great way). Sometimes I find he comes off a little bit mean but I am not letting that hold me back from the truth he is putting out there. Any of you that are familiar with Mark Driscoll feel this too?

Putting positive and applicable information into my brain and my heart is helping. Seriously. My friend, Steph told me to watch his series on Ruth and I love her, so I'm going to do that in addition to this book.

Fifth, I joined a gym and I'm officially training for a 5K in the spring. I'm a couple of weeks in and so far I love it. Yesterday was a particularly tough run (I have a UTI...TMI?), but I made it through and I'm determined to do this thing. I'm using the C25K app on my iphone to get me there. So far, so good.

I love that I get 45 minutes of time all to myself and my girls are watched by someone else. It's like a tiny break in the morning and it makes the day go by that much faster. The girls really like the childcare there most of the time as well.

Sixth, after a few strike-outs with some churches in the area, we found one that we actually like. It's small right now and meeting in a High School (which takes me back to my days when my dad was pastoring) but they're growing and have plans for a permanent home. It's called LifeChurch (no relation to LifeChruch.tv out of OK) and we're going on our 3rd week at this church. They dropped this by the house this week and I thought it was super thoughtful of them!

We're going to reevaluate after this "Real Marriage" series is over and determine if this is the place for us. So far, I'm liking the pastor more and more with each passing week.

So, I'm feeling good about making strides toward my own happiness right now. I am learning a lot and striving toward a higher potential as I make my way through this year.